The Definitive List of Thoughts I Had While Running on Saturday

1. What a nice day to go for a run. I haven't done THIS in a while...
2. Actually, when WAS the last time I went running?
3. Yikes. 
4. Never mind. Forget that...let's focus on today. 
5. Go get changed. 
6. No. The Golden Girls marathon is on.
7. I have to --  this is borderline obesity. 
8. Meg, stop talking to yourself and go get changed. 
9. "I'm sure this neon sports bra will look excellent with my cut off muscle tee" said no one ever...
10. Ew, how long have I had these shoes?  No wonder I don't run, these are gross. 
11. I should look up new running shoes on the internet...
12. NO. You're stalling. Get out of the house. Go.
13. Okay let's see....Keys? Check. Douchey outfit? Double check. Music? DING DANGIT. I didn't sync my ITunes. Well this will take just a second...
14. Mine as well eat something while I wait and fuel up before this major run...
15. Ironic. Eating is what got you here in the first place, McNugget. 
16. JIMINY CRICKET is it synced yet? 
17. Okay finally - VAMOS. 
18. Time to run. Time to get fit. 
19. F-I-T. Fit Fo Life. 
20. Fitness Freak. That's me. 
21. Jesus CUH-RIST.....What is this, the Middle East??? How hot is it today?!?!?
22. I haven't even started this stupid run and I'm sweating. 
23. I'm sweating and I'm walking down the stairs. This is a bad omen. I should go back inside. 
24. This humidity is in-SAN. 
25. KO would get that reference. In-SAN. Amahhhhzing. 
26. LOLZ I'll call her after this.
27. No but really...it's hot. Like African hot. 
28. African..
29. African hate running HAHAHA 
30. GET IT?!? AFRICAN?? Like..."I FRICKIN??"
31. God I'm hilarious, I'll put that in my blog later. 
32. Okay let me start this Couch To 5K app on my cell-u-lar.
33. Key word "couch."
34. I WISH I was on my couch. 
35. Okay. Here we go. 
36. Come on Beyonce PUMP UP DA JAMS.
37. WHO RUN THE WORLD?? GIRLS GIRLS. WHO RUN THE WORLD?? MEG MEG.
38.  How much time has gone by? 
39. 1 minute. 
40. Nice.
41. What are you running with Kenyans?!?!? Set yo pace, girl!
42. No really I have to slow down I'm dying. 
43. This is much better :) And much more embarrassing. 
44. Who runs for fun???
45. Chemically imbalanced people. That's who. 
46. That little troll Emily would be flying by now. 
47. 26.2?? NEVAR. 
48. Ayyyyooo that guy is hot. 
49. Run faster so it will look like you are a natural.
50. Really Meg? Wow. 
51. If you're idea of looking cute is galloping at full speed like a rabid horse then...God help us all.
52. He didn't even look. 
53. He probably was blinded by my neon bra, that's why.
54. What the F am I almost done??
55. UGHHHHHH I'm not even half way. 
56. Ya know, running through Little Italy has been your best idea yet, Meg. 
57. Congratulations. Really nice. 
58. Is that the delicious smell of fresh calzones coming out of oven?  You bet it is.
59. You're a psychopath.
60. Or is it sociopath??
61. Whatever, I'm probably both.
62. Either way, you've done this to yourself. 
63. AH god. Help me. My legs feel like sandbags. 
64. Sandbags that were left out in the rain, maybe, and are 10x heavier than they were before...
65. Nothing better than chafing thighs in the 100 degree heat, am I right ladies??
66. Is it socially acceptable for me to puke on the side of this Day Care Center? 
67. No no...you can't do that. 
68. There are children outside.
69. What the...
70. How the hell did "Dear John" get on this playlist?!?
71. Come on Tay. Don't do this to me now girl!! 
72. That's more like it Iggy..."I'M SO FANCY...YOU ALREADY KNOW"
73. More like I'm So Sweaty.
74. And everyone definitely knows. 
75. I applied deoderant, right??
76. NOPE. 
77. Hashtag - WINNING. 
78. Hashtag - STINKY
79. How do Kenyans run so fast...especially in heat like this??
80. Witchcraft, probably. 
81. I need water.
82. What is that......
83. What is.....
84. CRAAAAAMPPPPP!!!
85. AH JESUS I forgot to stretch.
86. F you Charley and your F-ing Horses, too!!!!
87. I'm never running again. 
88. And so it was written....And so it shall be done. 
89. Or in this case, not done.
90. YAAAAASSSS. I CAN SEE THE HOUSE. 
91. Just a little....bit.....longer. 
92. Don't you F with me now Ricky Martin!!! You can live your vida loca elsewhere.
93. I really need to reevaluate this playlist.
94. AWWWW YEAH GIRL. YEAH. YOU DID IT. 
95. Time to unwind.
96. I'm so thirsty. 
97. What's in the fridge? Gatorade? Water? 
98. Oh....a can of Miller Light and a block of Colby Jack Cheese. 
99. I'm going nowhere in life. 
100. As long as I don't have to run there....