Lord of the Flies

It was a bittersweet feeling as I finally moved out of the Jane St. residence last night. I recounted happy memories of Friendsgiving, St. Patrick's Day, and the general flopping around on the couch -  eating Chinese food and watching Game of Thrones every Sunday night with my roommates. 

I was having a pleasant "moving out" experience -- I only had a few more things to pack up and Nicole had done 98% of the cleaning (what a trooper). All I had to do was clean the kitchen. 

I walked through the dining room and heard a buzz. A fly circled around me and then disappeared. 

A surveyor. He was out collecting intel for the rest of his "fly friends." I knew we shouldn't have left the windows open to air out the house....

I entered the kitchen and into an ambush. A full fledged war, if you will, was waged on my head. Forget what you learned in your high school Freshman English class. This experience gave new meaning to Lord of the Flies. There had to be at least ten flies, if not more, and their mission was clear: 

THIS IS OUR HOUSE NOW. GET OUT, GIRL. 

Now I don't take so kindly to threats. So I did what anyone else would do...I devised a counter attack plan. I had to take into consideration a few things:

Fly advantages: 

- They can fly 

- They are tiny enough to hide where you can't find them

- I don't have great hand-eye coordination

Meghan advantages: 

- Pissed off and determined to kill ALL of these MF-ing flies 

A quick trip to Rite Aid and I was back with my weapon of choice: Raid. If this truly was Lord of the Flies then the can of Raid was my conch and I was calling all these flies out to 'come get some.'  

Perhaps it was the cloud of fumes in the house, but I became concerned for my own well being when I caught myself "trash talking" these flies.

 "Oh you want to fly away? HELL NAW (sprays Raid everywhere)"

"I will kill you. I will kill you DEAD."

I told Nicole that if I ever write a review for a product it will be Raid. It killed ALL of the flies and had a somewhat Tropical scent so it was a win-win. I also only had 4 nosebleeds throughout the night. 

If that wasn't enough excitement for one day, I met my neighbors for the first time as I was carrying boxes up and down the stairs and, consequently, sweating profusely. You know when you look deranged and desperately hope that no one sees you? It was like that only worse because my palms were sweaty when I shook hands with them AND the old Tshirt I was wearing had stains all over it. Apparently I wasn't completely repulsive to them, however, because they left this outside of my door this morning :) 

Making friends in my fly-free home is a good start to the weekend.

M