That Awkward Moment

Every single person has experienced an awkward moment in their life. Unfortunately, some people experience them more often than others. We like to call this group of unfortunate souls, "The Damned" - You know if you're a member or not by the sheer amount of absurdity and mortification that you have experienced in your life.

Ladies & Gentlemen, my life is defined by awkward moments. If you have followed me on social media you are witness to some of the stories that I have shared in the past. In fact, I usually start out each day wondering what is going to happen to me and when, and praying to god/the universe/Tom Cruise that whatever it is won't happen in too crowded of a place or in front of an extremely good looking guy (because you know, my chances to start off with were already about 20:80).

On a scale of 1-5 which measures the intensity and level of humiliation, I can assure you I've experienced it all.There have been Level 2 awkward moments -- actually being attracted to Ron Swanson, being seen violently licking the lid of my pudding cup, or moments that I generally like to refer to as 'Classic Meg':

Me: "Hey you look really sharp today, what's the occasion?" 

Coworker: "Oh...just going to my grandmother's funeral."

Not surprisingly, there have also been a number of Level 5 awkward moments that I've headlined for myself such as:

- Girl Locks Herself In Portapotty For 20 Minutes: Soccer Game Goes On Without Her
- Failed Attempt to Save Cute Stranger From Mall Kiosk Vultures Makes Girl Look Deranged
- Janitor Mistakes Girl's Post-Enchillada Gas For Toxic Chemical Outburst

I anticipate that some day all of these headlines will become chapter titles for my autobiography, "Mo' Naps Mo' Snacks." Trademark pending.

Although I'll be honest, I think my favorite awkward moment to date is simply known as "Bathroom Ballads," the terribly true story of a girl who innocently had a song stuck in her head and was caught singing said song (Pinocchio's "I've Got No Strings To Hold Me Down") to herself in a goofy voice in the bathroom. 

In my defense I thought I was alone. It was only when I heard another toilet flush that I knew this wasn't the case. I proceeded to meet the other bathroom goer at the sinks where she proceeded to tell me I had a "unique" singing voice. I can only imagine that this woman had probably been hiding in the stall sending an SOS text to her entire contacts list assuming a predator was in the bathroom. 

This is my life. Why I let myself do these things, I have no idea. All I know is that there is no shortage of awkwardness here and that there will be many more moments to share with you in the future. Stay tuned. 

In the meanwhile, I would LOVE to hear your embarrassing and/or awkward moments. If you're brave enough, leave a comment!