"The Move" - Target Tribulations and Other Grievances

I recently moved to a new apartment, my first solo apartment ever, and I've had mixed feelings about it. After having recently binge-watched the first three seasons of Sex and The City, living alone like Carrie and company seemed very appealing and glamorous (Reality check #1: this is Shadyside and not New York City).

I was pretty excited to decorate my own place. Excited until I was in Target and suddenly became overwhelmed about which shower curtain to purchase. I spent almost THREE hours in Target perusing "stuff" that I wasn't even sure I wanted, let alone needed.

That's the great thing about Target; they have practically everything you could ever want. In lots of sizes. And in lots of colors. Only 95% of the time you leave the store with buyer's remorse and now you're taking out a loan to pay off all of the junk you just bought. (Reality check #2: I guess I didn't really NEED that singing loofah).

I was physically and emotionally exhausted as I pushed my cart through the aisles. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel - I was almost ready to check out (pun intended). All I had to do was return a Kitchen Mat that I had deemed unworthy.

BUT WAIT - no trip out in public is complete without something totally bizarre happening (In my family we like to call this the Earnest Curse).

A 'couple' passed me with their cart but turned around to ask me a question. Being the upstanding citizen that I am, I was ready to assist. The conversation went a little something like this:

Woman: Excuse me, may I ask you a question?
Me (startled): Sure, what's up??
Woman: We often like to ask this question as we're shopping around....
Me (thinking): Ooooohhhh good maybe they'll give me coupons!

Woman:  Have you ever heard of the female form of God?
Me (thinking): This is definitely not about coupons... 

I said I hadn't but knew immediately that this was a huge mistake since I practically just invited them to tell me more.

I wanted these people to leave me alone and go away. Far away. I could see the woman pulling out one of those pamphlets that essentially tell you to repent or you will burn in hell for eternity. (Reality Check #3: I would rather burn in hell for eternity than continue this conversation).

The woman continued to ask me if I was religious. I'm not and normally would have responded with my default curse of "Jesus Christ..." but figured that would only complicate the situation.

All I could think about were the refrigerated items in my cart and how my string cheese was likely being crushed by my 2 pound bag of Sweedish Fish.

I kindly declined the reading material and practically tripped over myself as I jogged to the check out lanes. I made it home safely and hung up my new shower curtain in peace.

Although I've only been in my new apartment for two days, I'm becoming more cognizant of the Pros/Cons of living alone.

Con: I didn't get to come home and vent on the couch to my roommates about my heinous shopping experience. 

Pro: While furnishing the apartment I didn't have to act embarrassed and skip over "Sk8r Boi" when it came on my playlist. I sang it out loud for all to hear. OH I SANG IT ALRIGHT. 

All of this aside, I'm excited to start a new chapter in my life and am looking forward to sharing the experience with all of you. Stay tuned for pictures of my new place!

M